For all of you out there gathering up all the stuff you no longer want, consider this: On May 14, 2011 -Give Your Stuff Away to someone who is looking for it and wants it. Recycle some of that stuff you keep holding on to for a yard sale. Whether it be a kayak, old bicycle, vintage typewriter, bestselling novels or whatever else someone might enjoy. Once you put your pile of stuff out on the curb, check to see what your neighbors are giving away, but don’t take in too much stuff. More Clutter Fun!
“Joy, has no cost.” – Marianne Williamson
When I work with clients, I ask a lot of questions. One time I worked with a man who really did not know where to begin with his clutter. He had clutter in his office – lots of it and in the office storage area. So much so that we had to crawl into the space to see it all. There was a pressing need to use that space to sit down and look at drawings and storage for office supplies. It was currently being used for storage after a move. Moving from one house to another without clutter clearing first can be problematic. In this case, he had already been living part-time in this space and had all the necessary household items.
It takes time, but of course it is far better to get rid of what you do not need before you move. Fewer boxes for the moving company to move can save you lots of money and time. But the big benefit is to arrive at the new place with so much less to deal with. How many of us take the time to put everything in place the first two weeks we arrive at our new home? Usually, we do not take enough time to “move in”. So many times, I am called in to help people organize, set up systems and areas after a move.
When the boxes have been sitting there for months, we can clearly see what we need and do not need. I’m never going to tell anyone what they need to “throw out”. What I will ask is: “Do you love this item? Do you use it regularly? Can you live with out? I can usually tell what is important to them by the way they answer.
My client with the cluttered office got the de-clutter bug right away. Sometimes, we just need a little help to get started. After a slow 2-3 hour process, with questions such as, “what about this, I should keep it right?” I responded, “it looks old, out of shape and dated…” “I could run it through the dishwasher and paint it?” “Will you?” “No.” I could see it was sinking all in. It was important for him to decide not to keep the item and why. At that moment, everything changed. He started picking up item after item and showing me that he was throwing it away. “Look, I’m throwing this away.” Not everyone can pick up the clutter fun so quickly, but wouldn’t be fun to try? See if you can be that detached and or ruthless with the clutter in your space?
Have fun with it. Enjoy carefree, detached clutter fun!
Referring back to the post about divorce and transformation, I think the one thing that makes a relationship work is vulnerability. It’s also the one part of divorce that makes it so incredibly difficult. Being vulnerable means being open and loving- it’s the way to live. It’s about inviting change, jumping into something new and and being okay with feeling uncomfortable. We are vulnerable with our intimate partners and it’s another type of vulnerability to go through the process of divorce. It lays it all out on the table, the love, commitment, differences in thinking, the frustrations in the marriage, the differences in how we raise children. It’s about being kind to yourself and being generous to your soon to be ex-partner.
This quote by Helen Keller says it all: “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.” Please take a moment to check out this video from the TED Talks series with Bréne Brown on Vulnerability. It’s about 20 minutes, but worth it.
